Friday, 18 November 2016

How Can We Have Food Banks When Buckingham Palace Needs Renovating?

The radical Britain-hating left are predictably getting worked up about the cost (a trifling £370 million) of renovating Buckingham Palace.

Some are even asking the treasonous question of how we can afford the cost (extraordinary value really) when food banks exist in Britain.

Firstly, it is of course a lie that food banks exist at all. But even if they did, a more pertinent question is how can we afford food banks for layabouts when our poor, impoverished royals live in a palace lacking the luxury and modernity their untiring devotion to Britain deserves.  800 rooms don't heat themselves after all and it's absolutely essential that our majesty has access to the latest servant-summoning technology rather than rely on ringing bells and pressing buzzers.

So what should we do about food banks? Of course there is no evidence that any exist at all, but just on the off-chance they do I suggest that everyone using one be forced to give a voluntary donation to a fund for impoverished royals. That ought to redress the balance between the deserving haves and undeserving have-nots!

Friday, 11 November 2016

Make Failure to Wear a Poppy a Treasonable Offence

Millions of soldiers gave up their lives to protect our freedoms. The least we can do is ensure everyone pays their respect by wearing a poppy.

The only people likely to object to such a law are those who hate Britain and its freedoms anyway. People like Jeremy Corbyn, Nicola Sturgeon and judges who vote against the people.

Show your support for our heroic fighting men. Be vigilant and report any non-poppy-wearers!

Monday, 10 October 2016

Carlisle's Children Salute Our Glorious Majesty

Passing through Carlise train station the other day my eyes fell upon these delightful tributes to our glorious royal majesty, created by various nurseries and primary schools around the region. These spontaneous outpourings of reverence will warm the heart of any decent hardworking person.

Thank God I don’t live in some communist dictatorship where children are brainwashed from an early age into worshiping their glorious unelected leader!

Happy birthday ma'am! Long may your inspiring reign continue!

Friday, 2 September 2016